Unfinished Finished

[warning: this poem is LONG]

Giving my heart,
Letting go of my soul,
All for you to tear it apart,
And swallow me whole,
Spit me out,
Kick me out,
Scream and shout,
Lies and doubt,
Only thing thats around,
Is not to be seen or found,
It's like we're caught in this one way street,
Chasing something that slips beneath our feet,
It's like we can't find what we want to have,
We hold onto what we got,
Our love is lost,
But it seems like we forgot...

We try, yet we fail,
Will this ever prevail?
My love, isn't enough,
There's much more needed whenever we face the rough,
One love can seem so strong,
It can last for so long,
Seems like nothing can go wrong,
But you don't see it coming all along...

My emotions so twisted,
Your words so cold,
My emptiness surrounds me,
Standing out so tall and bold,
A dark cloud circles and whispers into my ear,
Letting me know, either the end, or danger is near,
My heart fights back saying it's just another day,
Another setback, to cope with my own way...

You're the one meant to be here,
The one wiping the tears, getting rid of my fear,
But all I have is air,
Tears i shed, knowing you aren't there,
What happened to you caring for me?
Have u lost all your integrity,
Honestly, tell me, am I doing you wrong?
If so, what, and for how long?
I can change, even if it is just for you,
Just for us to be together, there's nothing I wouldn't do,
I'd put my happiness aside,
Knowing you and I would survive....

Without you I don't feel the same,
All that I feel is the same old pain,
Driving me insane,
Slowly creeping in and messing with my head,
Thoughts race in and out a mile a minute as I lay still in my bed,
The world seems too out of reach,
With no one hear to teach,
Me, How to live this lie,
Giving me alternatives, other then to lay here and want to die,
If I could take back what I did or what I said,
Then maybe this wouldn't be the beginning of the end of my life,
My heart, my soul, dead....

The Girl No One Sees

[ this is one of the poems I got published in an Australian Poetry book :) ]

Who said it was easy being me?
Who truly understood the meaning of being free?
Sometimes they’re so blind,
They can’t see.

Behind the smile,
Behind those eyes,
Are so many conflicts,
So many lies.

Within the soul,
She’s lost control,
Chaos has swallowed her whole,
No one knows she has to pay the toll.

Does anyone care?
Do they know she’s there?
Can they feel her presence?
I guess life’s unfair.

Story of my Life

So this is how the story goes,
And this is the pain that nobody knows.
It took her so long,
To build that bridge,
To walk over it,
And get over him.

Finally she did,
The feelings got rid,
And she never saw him again.

Time seemed to tell,
That she would never love again.
But time was lying,
And she didn't know there could be much worse pain.

He took her hand,
Touched her heart.
She thought she had him,
Right from the start.

Floating on a cloud of joy,
This girl, falling for this boy.
What could she do?
He said he was feeling it too.

A sinking feeling,
In the back of her mind.
When he announced he would call,
She had a feeling she would find,
Just another broken heart,
One that was destined to fall apart.

He let go of her hand,
And broke up her heart.
She never had him..
From the start.

Beautiful Tragedy

She's a beautiful tragedy,
Slipping away so silently,
Slowly shattering into a million pieces,
She tries not to feel it when her heart freezes.
Wasted words, denied reasons,
She braces herself for the upcoming lonely seasons.

Acid Rain

I waste my time,
On one way love,
Why don't you feel the same way?I need advice from above.
The ones I'm always drawn to,
Seem to disappear,
One day they're right beside me,
The next they're nowhere near.
I get emotionally involved,
All by myself,
And I get headaches from crying and crying,
It's not good for my health.
I admire from afar,
But I wish I was close,
And the unrequited feelings supplied,
Come in a lethal dose.
I tell myself that there could be a chance,
But it's all in my head,
I find it hard to accept,
This romance is dead.
Now knowing what to do,
I need to find someone who will love me back,
But I don't know who,
My heart is constantly under attack,
And I know it'll never beat right without you.
Billions of people in this world,
And I can't even find one,
To take away the grey skies,
And give me the sun.
Don't you know it doesn't matter,
I've heard it all before,
They say it'll be okay,
Yet the acid rain continues to pour.

Step by Step

Introduce yourself,
And break the ice,
For its only in the beginning,
That you'll be nice.
Ask me out for coffee,
You offer to buy,
Do all the smooth talking,
To convince me you're a different type of guy.
Taking my hand,
You say you want to make it official,
Telling me there's more to you than meets the eye,
And you're in no way superficial.
We go out to dinner,
Sip and talk amongst champagne,
This is the beginning of all your treats,
A crucial step in your game.
Later we take a stroll,
On the moonlit beach,
You deliver line by line,
Flawlessly as if you've been practising a speech.
It becomes a while,
And we're still an item,
Spending practically everyday together,
And hardly ever fighting.
Buy me a diamond ring,
Swear you love me so,
But jewellery won't mean a thing,
If you're just going to get up and go.
Kiss my lips,
You promise not to make me cry,
Tell me I'm your whole world,
But then you say goodbye.

You Are

You're like a razor,
That cuts through my skin,
Breaks my heart,
And tortures the soul within.

Here I was,
Thinking you changed,
But you're as cold as ice,
So my hopeful thinking's deranged.

You're like a disease,
That will never have a cure,
You're like an addiction,
So bad but leave me wanting more.

You're like a crack of thunder,
That strikes an unsuspecting tree,
Burns it to ashes in a flash,
That's what you do to me.

You're like unpredictable weather,
First hot then cold,
Now I know we'll never be together,
That's a fact I don't need to be told.

My feelings don't exist,
My thoughts don't matter,
It looks like you can resist,
As my heart prepares to shatter.

No Way Out

Words circulate the empty room as I lay in the dark,
Sentences pouring out line by line, straight from the heart.
I wonder how I'm still breathing,
When my heart feels like it's stopped,
I wanted to remember what it feels like to be happy,
But I guess I forgot.
Nagging thoughts cease to escape my mind,
As I'm trapped in this maze,
And I thought the heartache would pass,
But it's not just a phase.
It seems like a way of life,
That I'm accustomed to now,
And no matter how hard I try to turn it all around,
It stays with me somehow.

Mine All Mine

My pillow is my shoulder to cry on,
When I'm feeling all alone,
And my teddy bear is my companion,
Since there's no one on the phone.

My diary is my confidant,
Where my true feelings lie,
They become immersed in ink,
When they need a place to hide.

Lyrics are my relation,
That assure I'm not the only one,
Who had no destination,
When they needed to run.

My photos are my proof,
That good times did exist,
On the other hand they're visual reminders,
Of everything that I miss.

My mirror is my reflection,
Of all things that are me,
But it doesn't bring to the surface,
Everything there is to see.

My eyes are like taps,
That leak away at night,
Hoping when I wake up in the morning,
Everything will be alright.

My beauty is unseen,
As I step into the light,
The whole world can seem so dark,
Even when all around it's bright.

My lips have participated in conversations,
That have lead to heartbreak,
Things that should have been left unsaid,
That were all a big mistake.

My feet have crossed boundaries,
That weren't meant to be explored,
Even though signs were there to warn me,
They were nothing but ignored.

This Poor Little Heart of Mine

This poor little heart of mine,
Been ripped apart at the seams,
This poor little heart of mine,
Been robbed of all its dreams.

This poor little heart of mine,
Has witnessed so much pain,
This poor little heart of mine,

Struggling to regain consciousness again.

This poor little heart of mine,
Didn't choose to be alone,
This poor little heart of mine,
Trying to cheer itself up in an unconvincing tone.

This poor little heart of mine,
Screaming without a sound,
This poor little heart of mine,
Searching for something that can never be found.

This poor little heart of mine,
Executing a fake smile,
This poor little heart of mine,
Appearing to be in denial.

This poor little heart of mine,
Fighting not to choke,
This poor little heart of mine,
Sick and tired like it just awoke.

This poor little heart of mine,
Contemplating a reason to wake,
This poor little heart of mine,
Unsure of how much more it can take.

This poor little heart of mine,
Attempting to be brave,
This poor little heart of mine,
Will take its secrets to the grave.

This poor little heart of mine,
Emotionally involved,
This poor little heart of mine,
Stuck with a problem that remains unsolved.

This poor little heart of mine,
Sensing that the future is bleak,
This poor little heart of mine,
Has so much to say but is unable to speak.

This poor little heart of mine,
Could never be rich,
This poor little heart of mine,
Suffocating, buried in a ditch.