Written 6th October 2004

Walking Away

If I’m not good enough,
Then say so,
If I’m not pretty enough,
Then why don’t you just go,
You used to be what made me smile,
You made everything ok,
If only for a little while,
Each and every day,
Now you see me frowning,
My broken smile,
Feel like I’m drowning,
In denial,
Wallowing in my misery,
I think of you,
Endlessly,
I still dream of you,
I realize how stupid I’ve been,
I was too blinded by love,
How could I have not seen,
You weren’t the angel from above,
Telling me lies,
Nothing was true,
I should have opened my eyes,
And saw the real you,
But my judgement was clouded in a big way,
By false information,
Wanting to be near you everyday,
Now I’m lost in a world of separation,
That came without warning,
Or preparation,
I may as well put you out of my mind,
Out of sight,
And go and find,
Someone better that’s worth much more,
Someone who won’t hurt me,
Or throw my feelings out the door,
Yet you still lie,
I get really upset,
Yet I always give you another try,
Why am I so weak when it comes to you,
Why can’t I speak when I think about you,
Whenever I see you,
I try to smile,
Even though it’s breaking my heart in two,
I cover up for a little while,
There’s nothing that I can do,
Never thought it would be you,
My heart controls my mind,
There’s no one else I can find,
Thinking about the history,
And what effect it has had on me,
I feel that it’s tearing me,
Making me feel so bad,
With every word you speak,
My heart starts to break,
When you tell me it’s over,
My body starts to shake,
Tears sting the back of my eyes,
I look at you,
And shake my head in surprise,
I want to turn around and walk away,
But I can’t do it knowing you won’t come after me, I have to stay,
Trying to clear out the images of you,
Including everything you do,
I can now see it clearly,
That you and I were never meant to be.